Low sex drive

Many of the menopause-related symptoms that women experience are a result of a complex web of factors – hormonal, physical, emotional and external stressors. The same is true of your sex drive and the things that can impact it during this time of your life.

Testosterone (yes, women have this too!) is the main hormone that drives your sexual desire. Levels peak in your 20’s and gradually decline over time – including throughout your menopause journey.

Many women also experience physical changes to their vaginas and vulvas as a result of hormonal changes during menopause. This can include dryness and increased sensitivity, both of which can make sexual intercourse uncomfortable or even painful. The fear of a painful experience can lead to lower desire.

Research tells us that the quality and nature of our relationships can also impact our sex drive. You may be experiencing relationship issues with your partner, suffering with mood swings, lack self-confidence or be dealing with poor self-image due to the menopause changes you are experiencing. These can lead to emotional stress which may impact how you feel about being intimate or having sex.

Here are a couple of things that you can do to help improve your sex drive during menopause.

• Talk, talk, talk: It may be the opposite of what you feel like, what you have been taught, or even what your culture says is expected of you. But talking about your sexual needs and challenges is the first step in getting help and smashing the taboos on this subject. We recommend you talk to your partner, your healthcare provider – and if necessary, a trained therapist.
• Prioritise intimacy: For women who may be struggling with physical symptoms that inhibit their libido – such as dry vagina, fatigue, weak bladder – sex may seem like an impossible ask. There are other ways to stay connected to your partner without sexual intercourse such as cuddling, massage, kissing, taking a candle-lit bath together (or whatever works for you). These can help grow and support intimacy, which is a precursor to sexual desire.
• Consider using sex aids: Using a lubricant can be a great way to overcome the pain and discomfort of a dry vagina. Other aids such as arousal oils or vibrators may also help improve your experience of sexual intercourse at this time.
• Testosterone: In some cases, your healthcare provider may consider treatment with testosterone to improve libido. If your symptoms are severe and impacting your quality of life or relationships, this may be something to discuss with a professional to see if it is right for you.
• Consider supplements cautiously: There is a lot of pseudo-science libido-boosting products and supplements in the market that make amazing claims, but have no proof – or even worse, could cause you harm. Only use supplements that have been scientifically tested and proven to work. If in doubt, or need advice about your unique situation, please speak to your healthcare provider.